Monday, September 27, 2010

Barnacle penises and why I wont save the ruined TP

Im afraid sometimes some of the blog entries are boring cause its been kinda boring around here lately but in a good way. Lots of reading and relaxing and writing fiction.

For example, the most exciting thing that has happened lately has been the leak that ruined almost $50 worth of TP and paper towels. We store them in the absolute driest place for storing such things and NEVER in the 4 years we have had Ever After has there been so much as ONE drop of water or condensation in this particular area.

Until of course I store all these paper products for our trip to the Abacos because as everyone knows, paper products are dear there. Keep them and dry them out you say? Well Im pretty frugal and normally I would but they were soaked with 'raw' water. NO not THAT kind of raw water .....this was water from the river........leaked from a hose that carries said water through the AC and fridge/freezer systems which wind around under the living spaces of Ever After.
Read on and you will find out why I don't want to keep them.

Evidently the 100 days of 95+ heat we had here in a row have allowed all kinds of brackish water creatures to go nuts multiplying. Mostly we are talking about barnacles. Interesting little animals. And not too picky either. But that is not all folks.......Barnacals can choose what sex to be according to where and who they end up next to............. and "compelled to mate but firmly attached, barnacles have evolved the longest penis of any animal their size. Up to 8 times their body length-so they can find and fertilize distant neighbors"

Can you imagine the conversation over that one? "You be the boy" "No YOU be the boy, I was the boy last time and kept getting my very long barnacal penis........ "
well you get the idea right? Im glad we can't hear THAT conversation.

So while its kind of hard to fault them for trying, I still don't want them or their penises fouling up our valuable paper products! Especially our cache of TP, which if the charts and Explorer books are to be believed, one really does not want to run out of.
So really Im all for romance and the Long Hot Summer but these horney little buggars are wreaking havoc.
So its off to the store again to buy more TP..........I really do lead a rather boring life. Isn't it great?

Oh....I almost forgot, now you know, given the job of TP and the nature of barnacles why Im not going to just dry out the ruined TP?

1 comment:

starlight149 said...

I love this post!! It's great to see something that is both hilarious and informative at the same time!!